In the New Year Spice Up Your Sex Life!

At this time of year, people are making resolutions to exercise more, quit smoking, lose weight, and work harder. Investing in your physical health and success are important, but what could be more important than investing in the success of your marriage or other intimate relationship? Re-energize your sex life and please your partner and yourself like never before.

This is an excerpt  from The Loveologist Guide to 52 Weeks of Sizzling Sex by Dr. Ava Cadell. Visit The Loveology University Bookstore to find a wealth of resources, including e-books and audiobooks, to help you have a richer and more fulfilling sex life.

Sex Around Your Home

Look around your home, you’ll find possibilities in every room including the laundry room where the tumble dryer can make an awesome place to make love, especially when it’s on the spin cycle. Christen all the furniture in every room instead of making love only in the bedroom.

There are also lots of common household items you can use for creative foreplay including a feather duster for tickling, a rolling pin for massaging, a spatula for spanking just to name a few. See how many common household items you can find to incorporate into foreplay.

Don’t forget to use your closet by convincing your lover that helping to tidy up the closet can be a sensual thrill. If he has some old neckties or scarves, use them to blindfold your lover while you lavish him/her with oral sex. You can also ask your lover to restrain your arms or legs with a belt or some pantyhose, when it’s your turn to receive oral sex.

The closet is the perfect place for a little bondage and domination play. You can caress their body with an assortment of fabrics such as velvet, lace, satin, silk, latex,leather and fur. And see if they can guess the fabric and where you’re going to use it next. Create lots of sexual anticipation all around your home.

A Kiss is more than just a Kiss

A powerful, passionate, fall-to-your-knees kiss will not only get you closer to the bed, a great kiss has other benefits: the extra saliva washes bacteria off your teeth,which can help break down oral plaque. A serious, tongue-tangling French kiss exercises all the underlying muscles of the face, which some experts say can take years off your face. Kissing might even help you to lose weight. At a rate of two calories a minute, it’s almost as effective as jogging on a treadmill.

Here are a few tips on the saucy, sexy, seductive art of kissing… Build anticipation by kissing all around your lover’s face. Trace the outline of your lover’s lips with the tip of your tongue. Begin your kiss slowly and gently with emotion and sensitivity. Take your lover’s bottom lip between the two of yours and suck gently. While kissing, lick your lover’s teeth with your tongue. Wrap your lips around your lover’s tongue and suck passionately. Use hot or cold liquids to create erotic sensations.

Toys are for us too

What is a sex toy? It’s anything that you use to enhance foreplay or sex. The most commonly used sex toy is the vibrator. Many people think of vibrators as a woman’s tool to be used for solo pleasure during masturbation. However, many men enjoy the stimulation of a vibrator on their genitals, testicles and anus. And, of course couples can incorporate vibrators and other sex toys into their lovemaking.

I believe sex toys have therapeutic value because they can help people overcome inhibitions, add a wonderful source of variety and can spice up a predictable lovemaking session. They can also take performance pressure of the man and help both sexes to reach orgasms more readily. And, of course the sex toy can keep ongoing and going as long as it has working batteries.

Today there are hundreds of vibrators and dildos that come in all shapes and sizes. I recommend couples go sex toy shopping together so they can each pick out one sex toy they want to take home with them. Whether you visit a sex toy shop or purchase your adult toys on the Internet, you’ll have something new and exciting to add to your sexual repertoire. A word of caution, never use a sex toy that has been inserted into the anus for the vagina and never share your sex toys with anyone else.

Mutual Pleasuring

While you’re talking erotically to each other and fanning the flame, either one-at-a-time, or together, begin to masturbate so that your partner can see how you give yourself pleasure. Masturbating in front of your lover — with or without erotic talk — is a wholesome and educational way to both turn yourself and your lover on. Take time with this. You can really let your lover know about your sexuality by touching and caressing yourself. If you don’t know what pleases you, then how can you communicate your desires to your partner? If you don’t love your body, then your partner will not be able to love your body either.

Encourage your partner to pleasure him/herself in front of you too and share this erotic experience together. So the benefits are better self-esteem, better communication and more sexual satisfaction.

The Bare minimum

  • Make love in new places, at different times, and in a variety of positions.
  • Inspire your lover to be creative in the bedroom. Discover how being inventive in the bedroom can positively influence your everyday life.
  • See how learning to please yourself can intensify your orgasm. Take risks that can benefit you and your lover.

A Final Note

By including many of the ideas and techniques from above you can not only keep the flame of passion burning, but you can create wonderful memories together and really strengthen your communication, intimacy and love. It seems like a consistently successful love life can affect more than just your relationship. Indeed. It carries over to all aspects of your life including your mental, physical and spiritual well being. The gift of love is often most appreciated when least expected.

  • Make a personal DVD expressing your feelings to the one you love.
  • Create and frame an award or certificate to the “Best Lover of the Year.”
  • Write a personal poem and record it on a CD for your partner.
  • Craft a scavenger hunt with trinkets all leading to you sitting in a bubble bath surrounded by candles.
  • Give a slow, sensual massage to your lover from head to toe and blindfold him/her for extra sensory perception.
  • Give your lover a signed, framed photo of your most preferred body part.
  • Fill a jar full of compliments for your lover.
  • Get your lover’s name tattooed on your body; temporary tattoos wash off.
  • Enjoy a Tantric journey with your lover by playing the Tantric Lovers Game available at
  • Make some redeemable love coupons or buy them ready made available at
  • Role-play your favorite fantasies with a deck of Fantasy Playing Cards available at
  • Give a Lovebox filled with bedroom toys to expand your sensual horizon available at
  • Become a Loveologist and become a Certified Love Coach and help to improve the quality of someone’s love life. If you love to help others, can enable people to face and overcome their weaknesses, are comfortable talking about love, relationships, intimacy and sex, then you have the ability to change people’s lives by becoming a Loveologist. Take the Love Coach Training Course to become a Certified Loveologist; you don’t need to have experience as a therapist or counselor to become a Loveologist, but you do need to be willing to learn, listen and expand your horizon because becoming a Loveologist takes devotion and a commitment to help and empower others. The Loveology coaching course is self-paced, so you can take your final exam as soon as you feel that you are ready. Sign up now at

~ by Dr. Ava on January 1, 2010.

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